Demo page · fictional brand · built by ClickDose Labs
Tomato plant food · 4-6-8 + calcium

Pre-workout for tomatoes.

It is tomato fertilizer. We put it in a pre-workout tub because nobody has ever been excited to buy a bag of fertilizer. One scoop in the watering can, once a week.

Get the tub, $29
40 scoops per tub · feeds six plants for a full season · Biggest Tomato Guarantee
JACKED TOMATO tubDolores, 68. Does not skip feeding day.
40scoops per tub
73¢per gallon fed
4-6-8plus 5% calcium
1×a week, that's it
Read the label

The joke is the tub. The inside is plant food.

Every supplement has a facts panel. So does this one. Here is what each line does for a tomato plant, in plain English.

  • Nitrogen 4%. Grows leaves. Kept low on purpose, because too much gives you a huge green bush and four tomatoes.
  • Phosphate 6%. Roots and flowers. More flowers, more fruit.
  • Potash 8%. Fruit size and flavour. This is the number that matters in August.
  • Calcium 5%. For the black, leathery patch on the bottom of the fruit (blossom end rot). Low calcium is one common cause.

Plant Facts

Serving size1 scoop per gallon
Servings per tub40
Nitrogen (N)4%
Phosphate (P)6%
Potash (K)8%
Calcium (Ca)5%
Creatine0g
Caffeine0mg
Proprietary blendsNone
Not for human gains. Do not dry scoop. Your tomatoes do not lift. Yet.
One scoop of plant food going into a watering can
Dosing

One scoop. One gallon. Once a week.

No mixing chart, no schedule on the fridge. Water the base of each plant like you already do. Feeding day is whichever day you remember.

2gallons a week
1tubs a season
$29for the season

Based on a third of a gallon per plant per week over a 20-week season. Illustrative.

Transformation photos

Before and after. Yes, for a plant.

Every supplement page has the scrawny "before" and the shredded "after". Ours are in terracotta pots. Same variety, same fence, same summer.

A large tomato on a kitchen scale reading 2 lb 3 oz

2 lb 3 oz.

Frank's personal record, set on a Tuesday. He has told everyone at the hardware store.

Photos and weights are illustrative. This is a demo page for a fictional product.

A scrawny tomato plant beside a large one loaded with fruit
Skipped feeding dayDid not
Sponsored athletes

Meet the team.

Energy drinks sponsor snowboarders. We sponsor people with a vegetable patch and strong opinions about it.

Dolores, 68

Event
Beefsteak, heavyweight
Trains
6:40am, before it gets hot
Rival
Frank
I don't know what a pre-workout is. The tomatoes are enormous. Leave me alone.

Frank, 72

Event
Cherry tomato, volume
Trains
Whenever Dolores is watching
Rival
Dolores
She says hers are natural. Nobody's tomatoes are that big naturally.
JACKED TOMATO tub, the Shaker watering can and the hat
The stack

Pick your program.

The Tub40 scoops. One season for six plants.
$29
The Bulk Stack Most pickedTub + the Shaker (2-gallon steel watering can) + the hat.
$49$71
Two-A-DaysTwo tubs. For 7 to 12 plants, or one very serious neighbour.
$52$58
Get the Bulk Stack, $49
Biggest tomato
The Biggest Tomato Guarantee. If your best tomato this year is not bigger than last year's, email us and we refund the tub. No photo, no scale, no questions. We will take your word for it.
The math: $29 ÷ 40 gallons = 73¢ a gallon. Six plants drink about two gallons a week, so that is $1.45 a week for the whole patch.
Gym reviews

Verified gains.

★★★★★

Bought it as a joke

My son-in-law gave it to me as a gag gift. I am on my second tub and the joke is on him, because he has to eat all this sauce.

Marge T. · 9 plants
★★★★★

The rot stopped

Two summers of black bottoms on my Romas. This year, none. It could be the calcium or the weather. I am giving it to the tub.

Walt K. · 6 plants
★★★★☆

Do not leave it in the kitchen

My grandson put a scoop in his shaker bottle. He is fine. The label does say not to. One star off for my own family.

Irene B. · 4 plants

Reviews are illustrative, written for the demo.

Feeding day is today.

One tub, 40 gallons, one summer of tomatoes your neighbour will ask questions about.

Get the tub, $29
Questions

Fair questions.

Is this actually pre-workout?

No. It is tomato fertilizer in a tub that looks like pre-workout. There is no caffeine, no creatine, and nothing in it for people. The costume is the marketing; the inside is an ordinary 4-6-8 plant food with calcium.

Why a tub and a scoop instead of a bag?

Two reasons. A tub with a lid keeps dry fertilizer dry in a shed. And a scoop that matches a gallon means nobody has to read a mixing chart.

Will it work on peppers and cucumbers?

A 4-6-8 feed suits most fruiting vegetables. A real brand would say which, with rates for each. For the demo, we kept it to tomatoes because the name is JACKED TOMATO.

What would a real brand add to this page?

A guaranteed-analysis label that meets state fertilizer rules, real customer photos with dates, and a shipping estimate. This page exists to show how a parody product page is built, not to sell plant food.